somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
