I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
