How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i will never coherently bang her
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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