We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
