This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
