He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
someone threw a dead crab at me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
