Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
