just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
