soooo we both peed the bed last night...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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