I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
