Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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