You work out of a Hotel?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
