that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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