At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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