Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
