so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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