Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
