Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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