My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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