i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
