Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
