I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
