You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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