can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
