This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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