you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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