saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
