I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
