video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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