She's JV to your varsity
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
