I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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