3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
