i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
