i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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