I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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