I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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