lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
