I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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