There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
