so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
