Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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