Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
