i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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