Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
