It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
