pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
