a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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