All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Send help, water and tortillas.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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