Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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