its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
