you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
